God might actually enjoy us.

So, I finished Gilead several days ago; only now have I had the time to truly collect my thoughts regarding the novel and write about it. I do need to go ahead and get something off my chest. My main complaint with this book was the length of chapters. And by that, I mean was there weren't any. Not one. I didn't realize how much I realied on chapters to break for food, sleep, etc. While it did have breaks in the text, it wasn't the same.There is a finality with the end of chapter. You can't continue reading until you turn to the next page. I would want to stop reading, but before I could, my eyes would have already jumped the double-spaced break to read the next entry.

I say entry because the book it written as if it were a series of journal entries written by John Ames - a Congregationalist minister living and dying in Gilead, Iowa. At the age of seventy-something, he is writing to his young son, writing things that he would like to tell him had he lived to watch him grow up. Believe me, I am not giving anything away by telling you this. The first sentence of the book breaks the news before you have time to get attached: I told you last night that I might be gone sometime, and you said, Where, and I said, To be with the Good Lord, and you said, Why, and I said, Because I'm old, and you said, I don't think you're old. And yes, all of that was one sentence.

I found the book enjoyable despite the heavy subject matter. He writes a great deal about death, guilt, and the strong but strange bond between father and son. While I did pick these threads up on my own, they were enhanced by the notes and underlinings of my copies previous owner. My guess would be they had to write a paper (I was excited that they actually read the book instead of reading Cliffs notes).

It is bittersweet, the thought of writing down all of the things you would want to tell your child: I'll pray that you grow up a brave man in a brave country. I will pray you find a way to be useful. While Ames knows that the old must pass away to make room for the new, he still stresses the history of certain items, hoping their significance will be remembered after he is gone. It makes you realize that it is all just stuff in the end. Something is only important because you made it so.

What touched me the most? I would say it was the following passage:
" it suggests how God might actually enjoy us. I believe we think about that
far to little. It would be a way into understanding essential things, since
presumably the world exists for God's enjoyment, not in any simple sense,
of course, but as you enjoy the being of a child when he is every way a
thorn in your heart."
Perhaps this speaks to me as a mother, but I like to think that this is true. And while, I can't say that I felt "touched by grace just to [have] read it" as The Washington Post said I would, I do think that it made me challenge myself and the way that I view the world, faith and a life well lived.

So what's next you ask? I am actually reading two: The Optimist's Daughter (1973 winner) by Eudora Welty and The Age of Innocence (1921 winner) by Edith Wharton. My husband, Andy, and I are reading The Optimist's Daughter out loud to each other, and The Age of Innocence I am reading on my own. I hope to encourage him to through in his opinion when the time comes.

Until then, happy reading.